Grandpa

I have hesitated greatly to write this post. I think I've been afraid to face the deep feelings it would drudge up. I mean this is my grandpa. My security, my hero! I spent most of my life in close proximity to him and have always felt I was a kindred spirit, with our rhyming skills, love for music and tendency to embarrass ourselves. Oh how I long for him to waddle through the door, breathing hard and plop in his chair. I would give anything to feel his large blunt fingernails scratching my back or hear an inappropriate joke or a funny story. He was the rock for many people, most definitely mine.

I've always had a close relationship with Grandpa, even before we moved into his home in 1992ish. My mom facing raising six kids alone was met with a calm matter of fact voice over the phone, "lets get em' raised" he said (as if it would take one day or something). So from the time I was 10 I had the privilege of having a front row seat to all of his antics, wisdom and love.

He was as supportive as any father could ever be, or more. He came to EVERYTHING. He attended my 7th grade football games when I was cheering (boring for most)... but instead he made friends with all of the 8th grade football players and had them cheering me on! (I was embarrassed and proud at the same time). My friends new the middle finger was just a funny gesture one would get from grandpa and it meant that he thought you had a keen enough sense of humor to handle it! (well actually I doubt he thought that far into it). The truth is, he was HIMSELF. ALL THE TIME. There is and always was only one CHUCK. I wish sometimes that I inherited this genuineness and portrayed it all the time. He drove me once all the way from El Paso to Gadsden for a game so I could watch a boy I liked. We found out we missed them and they were eating in Las Cruces. He cheerfully said, "lets go Melgo" and we kept driving. Once we got to the restaurant, once again, they were gone. He laughed and bought me a dinner. He ignored my sad attitude and pretty soon I had forgotten all about it.

His blessings: his blessings were the best. His great faith made him a perfect vessel for the Lord and I can remember multiple times a blessing from Grandpa has guided my footsteps. One time I was heading back up to Provo for Fall semester. I asked for a blessing to start my year out and didn't expect to hear what he said. He said that I should be careful who I date. That I am still susceptible to falling in love with someone who may not be right for me. That I should date someone of my faith to give my children the best possible outcome in being reared in a unified home, sealed in the temple. I was thinking, "seriously Grandpa? I am like living in a town with 99% LDS people, I think I am good). His words proved to be prophetic. As  I spent a semester not dating much, I ended up talking to my little sisters coach just for fun (he was cute and he liked me so I thought why not?). This relationship got a little deeper when I visited El Paso and when I got back to Utah he wanted to come out. He was serious about me and wanted something more. Grandpa's words echoed in my mind and I knew I must cleanly brake this off, even though I really did like this guy. He was the only guy I liked at all that year and he made me feel good about myself. It was hard to do but I knew it was right.

After grandpa's death I had another neat experience with one of his blessings. Before I left for Costa Rica in September 2004, he gave me another blessing. In that blessing he mentioned that the education I am gaining through my experiences and studies at BYU would someday bless my family. I didn't remember this blessing at all. After grandpa's death, I was reading in my journal and I happened upon this part. At that time, one family member was struggling deeply with depression. I am not likely to read my journal so finding this page, felt like he was nearby guiding me. He loved this family member very much and I knew right then that I needed to do draw upon everything I had learned and help in whatever way I could.

I loved coming home from college and seeing him. I would run in his room and he'd be laying there in his scoop neck garments watching tv on his bed. He was always so happy to see me and I would hear from my mom or grandma how worried he was and how much they bugged them while I was on my way home. One time he overheard me and my mom discussing how I was going to get back with a new car we had bought in San Antonio. It was a 9 hour drive so I planned on flying there and driving home alone (radio blasting, didn't sound too bad to me!). But grandpa wouldn't have it! He made grandma book a flight with me to San Antonio and he squeezed his large behind in one of those tiny seats on the plane. I slept on his ever comforting shoulder. We spent one night with Aunt Peggy and Uncle Don and then we drove home the next day. He was miserable in my little car and with me behind the wheel! We had a good laugh as he cursed my driving. It was all worth his discomfort just knowing I was safe. I am so grateful for those sweet special moments with him.

Gramps and I had a few battles growing up. I usually could outrun him pretty easily. I know he would've never laid a hand on me but he would get mad when I was disrespectful. I am glad for that, I needed that! I would say terrible things like, "you aren't my dad!" I would feel inclined to feel regret if I didn't know that he was the most forgiving, accepting person. He knew I had my own struggles and though my words probably stung now and again, he knew I loved him and he excused my behavior.

Something I will always cherish is Grandpa's guitar. He gave it to me one afternoon when I was on break from college. I took it back with me and never put it down that semester. I wrote songs with it and would come home and show him. I wrote a song called "I've Reached the Sun". It was actually about a bitter break up with a boy but because of his lack of hearing, he thought it was about the gospel! haha I wondered why he always had me sing it to everyone! One day he explained to someone else what it was about and I was like... uhhhh... nope... haha but I didn't want to burst his bubble.

That proved to be the greatest gift I could ever return to Gramps. Playing music for him and singing with my sister and cousins were a great joy in his later life. I miss it so much. Its hard for me to play without him there to listen. He wanted everyone to hear us, he thought we were so good (remember I mentioned his hearing??) haha but he made me believe it, that's for sure.

Sometimes I feel so empty without him here. Like all of a sudden the world became bigger and scarier. I have noticed though that I feel him way more when I am positive, joyful, laughing than when I am crying and sad. That makes sense. He never wanted us to be sad. He constantly said that when he died he was going to freeze his face in the Lizard so we wouldn't cry and we could just laugh at his funeral. That didn't happen but Jenni did provide him with the yellow daisies he said he would be holding! Awwww... laughter through tears.

He was a giant in my life to say the least. I will miss him till the day I meet him. The world may seem bigger and scarier but heaven seems safer and closer now. Here is the poem I wrote for grandpa, I had the privilege of reading it for him a few times before he died:

Grandpa, my Gramps, The back scratching champ.
My biggest cheerleader, My comfy chair eater.
How can I thank you for the support you’ve been? For being that man among men…
The one who listened and worried with fret, Who’d sing us a song, our cares we’d forget.
The name game, the whistler, the alligator song, will live on and on far after you’ve gone.
You were there for me when my dad couldn’t be. And best of all, you loved him like me.
You were the example for my brothers, Security for my mother.
A laugh during hard times with your stories and rhymes.
You never wanted to see us cry, though you stole our treats as we tried to sneak by…
YOU are a big part of who I am today, You named me Melgo: my REAL name some would say.
So when you’re really gone I’m not going to lie, I’ll bawl like a baby, you taught me to cry.
But I’ll laugh too, that promise I’ll keep, To think of the lizard look and all the smiles it reaped.
So enjoy your reunion with Ash, Alexa, Trevor and your mom.
I know you’ll be the first to greet me when my time has come.
It’s pretty nice knowing I have a large angel on my side,
All the memories you’ve created will always abide
Each time I stroke this ol’ guitar, I’ll think of those doughy hands, all wrinkled and worn.
Those hands who blessed me a hundred times,
The ones who “tried to write a love song”, and all those cherished rhymes.
I love you grandpa, you mean so much to me
Watch over and keep our family close, I know you will be
cheering us on from the bleachers, just like you always have been
We’ll hear you from time to time and know we’ll see you again.

Shortly after grandpa passed away this happened: 
Today I heard the greatest story about grandpa: Uncle Keith got a random call from a lady who was looking for grandpa because she wanted to tell him how grateful she was to him etc... and wondered if he knew him (judging by his last name). He said yes that he was his son and that unfortunately he had passed away. She was very sad and said that she would love a picture of him so Uncle Keith called me and I sent her a few photos over text. She responded with this (totally made me cry): 

"He was a wonderful man. He had a way with words:) I remember he loved poetry. He would compose his own. Great sense of humor. Thanks to the Lord, him and his grandson (I think Travis Taylor- was it you Travis?), I am back in the church. My son Albert is now 14 and Alexis is 12. I'm grateful for home teachers who fulfill their calling. I have talked about Uncle Chuck on different occasions and how he was an answer to my prayer. I never told him the story and now I regret it. I was going through a divorce at the time. I was driving home with my son after picking him up from his dads. I remember praying in the car with tears in my eyes, Lord please help me. It is my son and I on our own now. Minutes after I pulled into the trailer park where I lived there was a knock at my door. There stood a tall man and his grandson. They came in and Uncle Chuck said he felt he needed to come and visit. After we visited for a little while he asked if I would come to church... I hem hawed around and then he looked at me straight in the eyes and asked again firmly WILL YOU COME TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY? That's what it took to get me back. I've struggled on and off but I have since been to the temple and my children have been baptized. The Lord answers prayers! Sometimes within seconds, minutes, or longer but He answers. Thank you so much for the pictures. I will print them and add them to my book of people who have blessed my life. Could you forward a picture of your grandmother too? I have a quilt she made for Alexis when she was born. What a great woman for supporting her husband. It was evening time when Uncle Chuck and his grandson came to the door. May his grandsons follow his example and bring many more lost souls like myself at the time, back to the church! Thank you!! From Marisela Carpenter. 

What a testament to the man he was! 

WHAT I LEARNED FROM GRANDPA:
1. Be humble- he actually told me this multiple times. I would get offended but I see his wisdom now, he knew my weaknesses.
2. Don't judge- he judged no one. He would let any waif into our home. He truly loved everyone.
3. Have a sense of humor- no need to say more
4. Let others laugh at you- he was so willing to be laughed at, which made him so much more accessible. He wasn't easily offended and he loved a funny story even if he was the culprit.
5. Serve!
6. Be on time- I can't quite master this one but he was about an hour early to everything. When I'm late I can hear his voice in my head!
7. Endless faith- its just better to believe. Once you believe, you have peace. Try it.
8. Share the Gospel- he never hesitated
9. sing LOUD, even if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time
10. LOVE everyone.

Just for fun, here are some funny, true stories I flowered up for our family reunion:

The Larson Family Masterpiece Classics

Chapter 1 Oldies but Goodies

Once upon a time in a land of cotton and dirt lived a man named chuck and his friend.  As they were fraternizing at a convenient store they witnessed a comical site. A man selling tomatoes caught the attention of some white trash little sweeties. They heard one little toothless wonder say to the other, “Patsy got a mater, give us a mater” The friends swore they would never forget the phrase “Patsy got a mater” and that even when they were old and gray, that phrase would be the first thing they said to one another. Poor Chuck was blessed with a more keen memory than his friend. When the time finally arrived, the reunion was inevitable, Chuck had spotted him at a  bull fight  in the land of tacos. So many years had passed but he knew his friend would never forget… or would he? “Patsy got a mater!” He exclaimed! His enthusiasm was met with a confused, blank stare… it was not to be.

A few, maybe 6 kids later and many moons, that very same Chuck found himself traveling through a ritzy part of town. Perhaps it was his lack of luxuries in life that made him unable to recognize high class establishments such as what he was about to descend his hooligan family upon. As 6 redneck children filed out of the family station wagon and entered this fine restaurant, Chuck and his lovely wife Gwen realized the worth of the food a little too late. Most would turn around and walk out and find the local Mcdonalds. But oh no, Chuck was a proud man… as they were seated he hurriedly sought out the cheapest item on the menu…  mmmm…. French dips. As the waitress got ready to serve a large table and anticipated her large tip- the only words Chuck could utter through his bright red, cheap cheeks were- 8 french dips.

Chapter 2 Sacrament Meeting mishaps

This very same Chuck made every El Paso sacrament meeting slightly more entertaining. Chuck and his beautiful wife loved singing in the choir with their adult daughters and a few of their grandkids. His face would beam with delight at the idea of expression through song in that great sumac building. His eagerness sometimes got the better of him. On a particular occasion, the entire congregation was enjoying the beautiful prelude to what was sure to be a beautiful song to invite the Spirit. In the midst of that melodic bliss a very loud tenor belted  “ GOOOOOODDD!!!!” From then the song was lost. No one in the choir could keep a straight face. Not even the director.

Within the same stage of life, on a beautiful fast and testimony meeting Sunday, that very same church-going man decided it was his turn to enlighten his audience. He began with a well-intended yet slightly mis-interpreted opening joke. “I am having an affair”. As the audience gasped in shock,  it took him all too long to clear the air enough for people to understand this was not an actual confession of guilt. He quickly explained his love for the old women he home taught. All was well now as he left the stand, looks of relief all over faces. He returned to his chair and listened to a few others share their testimonies. As he was listening, he just couldn’t help himself. Seated next to his granddaughter and grandson, they knew something was stirring as he started rocking himself back and forth to be able to stand on those pretend knees. He stood in the middle of the audience, unorthodox for a Mormon Church meeting, and yelled at the top of his lungs. “I forgot something! His grandson watched in horror as his rather large hand came pointing down toward him. My companion Travis… and he went on and on about Travis. Travis’s face had never turned a darker shade of purple. Oh how sacrament meetings changed when Chuck left. Boring as ever.

Chapter 3 The bigger they are the harder they fall

Oh some may think Chuck was the only person to have the keen ability to place himself in embarrassing situations. I can promise you this trait was inherited. In two completely different places, on two completely different days, Chuck’s son Van, and Chuck’s granddaughter Roni were both relieving themselves on a mountain top. (Larson’s were never afraid to go without a flushing toilet, the wilderness was theirs for the taking) One found what she thought was a sturdy branch (it couldn’t have been more than a twig because Roni herself was no bigger than a twig herself) The other relied on a roll of toilet paper in his hand to offset his above average weight. Both removed their pants. Both of their bodies proved to be too much for that on which they were relying.  The branch went crack, the legs gave out and the Larsons went rolling, down the mountains, half nude!

Ok we couldn’t leave Chuck for too long, he is too fun. So we are back. And if you remember in a previous chapter, mention was made of Chuck’s diligence to sharing the Gospel through home teaching and missionary work. With his same twin companions he went to do the Lords work. The family was captivated as he relayed the story of Joseph Smith. Just as he was about to share with them the part with the most amazing miracle in modern times, you know that pillar of light part that gives any God-fearing men the goosebumps, his intensity and well his plain largeness proved to be too much for the weak plastic and crack!!! Down he went and down went the chair- broke into a million pieces. But never fear, the family will never forget the Joseph Smith story so his work is done.

It must be mentioned that through all of these fun and true stories , there stood a woman by Chuck’s side. A woman whose poise and grace seemed to emphasize Chuck’s lack thereof.  Gwen loved her Chuck through it all and there would be no Chuck without a Gwen by his side.

Thank you for listening to Larson family Masterpiece Classics. Stay tuned for our next volume with chapters like famous Larson sayings Including “Twavis or Tywel is hitting Twavis or Tywel” and Don’t Scratch it just rub it” will be featured. There will also be more adventures with our main character Chuck. One where Chuck jumps out of a trunk with a bloody head and many other thrilling true stories.