I read a post from a friend who was throwing up, has a little guy, is 7 months pregnant and got asked to watch 3 kids, pick up someone from the hospital, and take someone dinner... uh yeah. I got inspired.
I too have the inability to say no sometimes and I am learning. But more than people asking too much of me right now- I have had a different problem common to most Mormon women. Its the "should" disease. Every time someone drops of treats, instead of being just grateful (I am grateful but not "just grateful") I feel a pang of guilt. Oh I should be baking, I should be giving out gifts to everyone etc... I love all the people who have brought us stuff and have thoroughly enjoyed it. I would like to repay them so they know that I love them but haven't had time. (Maybe I should be baking instead of writing this- woops there I go again)
Its so hard to draw the line between doing what you want to do and doing what you should do. Its all about finding the balance. And when you just can't do it all, not feeling guilty about it. Who wants cookies made from guilt anyway? I'm sure they don't taste as good. So the new attitude I want to adopt is hmmmm.... I feel like baking today- maybe I'll take some over to so and so... Instead of oh my gosh I am so stressed! I have to do sharing time, christmas cards, wrap gifts, finish shopping, bake a million things, take a million plates around etc etc etc I am a BIG Fan of Christmas. I never got why my mom was so stressed in December. I get it now but I really want to stop the madness... its supposed to be a fun, happy, lovey time of year.
I LOVE my friends! I LOVE my ward! I LOVE my cousins! I LOVE my grandparents! I LOVE my siblings! I LOVE my mom, dad, step families! I LOVE the chubby Tater- the crazy Jack Attack and the Iddy Biddy! I LOVE my man and I am so lucky! If I don't get a cookie to you I don't love you less. I might get one out and if I do- you'll know that I did it when I was in the mood and enjoyed it.
I especially love the Savior and love making a big deal of celebrating His birth. I am sure He wants me to celebrate with love in my heart instead of guilt.
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3 comments:
Aawww - and we all LOVE you!
I always love hearing your reflections.
I've been thinking of you lots among my Christmasmy warm feelings this week, but just like you said, I haven't initiated anything b/c I didn't want to add more stress to either of our plates.
I debate these feelings when I think of baking for others too!
Hope you're having a good week!
Don't worry, you are doing your best. There is a time and season for everything, and as I have learned, some years are easier than others, when it comes to presents and gifts for everyone. I don't get into the "should" mode, but I think as long as you are taking care of your family, that's all that matters.
Natalie
I have felt exactly the same way this year.... I hate when the holiday stress interferes with the true meaning of the holiday, but it's hard to know where to draw the line. Well said! I am trying to adopt the same attitude!
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